Don't leave it too late

Our health is so important. I spoke with a close friend yesterday; younger than me, and she has been diagnosed with osteoporosis. She fell, last year, and damaged her back, she also has knee problems. The doctor doesn’t seem interested in anything except painkillers and has told her not to fall! She can barely walk 100 yards and the steps up to her front door are difficult. She’s not getting the later life she expected.

I’m noticing changes in my body, I’m more stiff, it takes a while to get moving, and whilst I’m stretching more often it is yet to be a daily habit. A walk for a swim and sauna this lunchtime has freed everything up. So much better for me to walk to the gym than drive.

I’m keen to keep active, to keep having adventures, to also go on the journey inside and to learn more about myself and the world.

If first I think about travel …

One of the plans many have in later life is to travel in retirement.

People have their bucket list of places to visit. For some it includes cruises or to go on safari. What’s classed as big holidays. We have this vision of walking hand in hand with our loved one.

But life doesn’t always work out that way. For my 60th birthday I went on a small boat trip around the Croatian coast. There were 3 widows, they weren’t travelling together. Each of them had planned to do it with their partner. All had died in the last year or so. They were all aged under 65.

A friend had all sorts of plans to go on a long backpacking trip … then he had problems with his knees. He’s doing group coach holidays and has to carefully read the descriptions. He can no longer do what he used to. I’m sure he could with surgery and a more positive mindset, but already I can see his confidence going.

Another is now a full-time carer, and is putting her elderly mum first. But as the years go by the dream is fading and she’s just spent a week at a Spanish resort. Not quite the independent travel around Indonesia she used to dream of.

Around 18 years ago I was at an all-inclusive resort in Cuba … looking at how much food was wasted via buffets and half discarded drinks, I decided I wanted something different.

When we got home, I searched on line and found out about responsible travel. I then booked us a small group back packing trip with Intrepid around Northern India. It was called – Slowly down the Ganges and included 2 days on a row boat to Varanasi. (we didn’t have to row!).  I hadn’t appreciated the physicality of the trip – so much walking with my pack, and the accommodation was low cost. But I adapted, and loved being outside my comfort zone. This holiday was over Christmas and New Year and took me into my 50th year. (2006/07)

For my 50th birthday we went on a Safari in Namibia, as I’d already planned a trip the following Christmas, also with Intrepid, this time to Southern India we were on a tight budget. This was a camping safari, putting up our own dome tents each night and helping with cooking and washing up.

By our third adventure (the end of my birthday year) I was going off on my own, no longer feeling the need to stay in a tight group.

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The years have gone by and I’ve had many adventures, including Myanmar, Belize, Costa Rica, Vietnam, St Helena, Ascension Island ... meeting interesting people and stepping outside of my comfort zone. My last trip was in February, living with a Maasai tribe and sleeping in a small dome tent that I had taken with me.

I am so glad I started when I did.

If I’d decided to wait until I retired, I would have found many of my trips too taxing.

If I look back, I spent a great deal of money on holidays. To start my 60th year we had 9 weeks in Australia and flew business class, and the end of that year did a small expedition ship (where over half the passengers had Dr. to start their details).  We were travelling with several experts, sailing around the Indian Ocean from Dar es Salam to Mauritius. We went to a small island in the Seychelles where we were the only ship allowed to visit that year. Madagascar was closed to tourists because of the plague but we were able to dock because of the small size and because of the style of voyage.

I prioritised adventures and experiences over a move to a more expensive house, and a bigger more up to date car. I also could have saved more. And I don’t regret a thing.

 For me these experiences will stay with me. I write diaries whilst away so I can return to them in the future, and save photos on a daily basis so I can see the chapters of a trip.

My message … if something is important, don’t leave it too late.

And there is the different experience, to learn more

I’ve read a lot by Stephen Jenkinson, of Orphan Wisdom School and went to one of his shows (He is also a performer) in Oxford last year. He sent a message out recently which included

A certain reversal of fortune has found me, wrenched my plans for myself out of symmetry. It’s medical, with a kite’s tail of consequence. I’d had a feeling for a while, which is why whenever any of you who I met on the Nights of Grief and Mystery asked about the school I tended to equivocate about the thing. I didn’t know if I’d be able to follow through on the commitment.

I’ve got a place to attend a 3-day event with him in South Wales in JUne (it was heavily over-subscribed; I clearly said the right things when the organiser rang me). There’s no guarantee on his level of involvement but I want the chance to see him once more. He’s also doing a talk a few days later, with Martin Shaw in Totnes. I’ve booked for that as well. I’d considered going to spend time with him on his farm in Canada, sort of as an apprentice, but other things took priority, and now it is too late.

Have you missed out on things because you left making a decision too late? Some people talk about that as leaving it to fate, but I’d rather seize the day. We know we are more likely to regret the things we haven’t done rather than the things that we have done.

Till next time, Denise

1. Images - main one is me in the Seychelles, the next is after completing one of the postbox walks in St Helena. We had travelled 5 days by ship from Capetown to get there. The ship went on to Ascension, back to St Helena, back to Capetown and we got on it again on its next circuit. 14 days later we went on to Ascension and then flew back on a RAF plane into Brize Norton. I’d organised this for my husbands 60th birthday.